Perhaps it's time for an introduction to the blog. Most of what you will see is on the "Who and What" page, but we can dig a little deeper into what I'm thinking about on this post.
Nothing on this blog will be normal or scheduled. It will remain a variety of things that make up my life. I know somewhere, there are women who live the same "varied lifestyle" I live. Perhaps they'll find some fun and comfort here.
As of right now, there is an underlying theme to this blog that I pray will change in time. I want to have a child. I am almost Thirty years old and already the Step-Mother of two awesome kids. They're six and nine years old right now and a ton of fun.
My husband and I have been very adamant on not having children. He has two children and I have none. We were OK with this for almost three years. Then, something changed. A few things changed. First, we really thought I could not conceive. I was married before I married him and never got pregnant. Then, we found out I could conceive and that was a surprise. The second change was we went from living together and being engaged for almost three years to finally being married. Tying the knot changed our world in a subtle but drastic way.
Suddenly, every precaution we took to keep me from getting pregnant went out the window. It wasn't because we wanted to get pregnant, but we're married now. Who wants to use protection or take precautions anymore?
A few months ago, I skipped a period and he asked me to take a pregnancy test. I told him I wasn't pregnant. I knew I wasn't, but I took the test anyway and I was correct. Yet something inside me was extremely disappointed in this. For some strange reason, I felt like I wanted to cry over seeing a very expected negative result. "Dear Lord" I thought to myself "I want a child with him."
So here we are, balancing two varied lives and praying a child might become part of our family sometime soon. Me? I want a boy. He wants a girl.
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